What is this????

Minding my own business, surfing the internet. I decide, like all people do at one point, to Google myself. To be honest, not much popped up other than my mom's blog. I started looking through some of them, and stumbled across this video. I should be getting royalties for it...

Be Careful Where You Fall Asleep

I'm running, darting, trying as hard as I can to get out of her reach. She's gaining on me, with all of her fox-like characteristics. She pants, even yelps if I turn. All I know is I don't want her near me. I fake a left, swerve to the right just in time to make it in front of an oncoming car. My heart is racing, and I'm becoming erratic. I run in circles, whimpering, trying to find my way out of this. I can't make her stop...her pursuit is deafening. I know she's going to reach me, there isn't anything I can do. I start to make noises, doing my best to defend myself. These noises are so surreal, even to me...hiccups, barks, whimpers. I don't know where the are coming from, but they scare her. Just as I think I've won, she lunges and starts biting my feet. I snarl and bite back, just as my mom yells "Gigi, get off her." I wake up, groggy still, but awake enough to realize it was all a bad dream...and my parents were taping it. This is such a violation of my privacy, but even I think it's kind of funny.

France was cold

It's no surprise that I hate cold weather. And France was cold. We flew in from Portugal early in the morning, and of course when I finally wake up, I'm being stuck under some smelly guys seat and have to "relax, just lay down" the whole flight. You try hunkering down underneath the feet of someone you don't know...it's not easy. Once we were in Paris, I was reminded of the weather that I loathe...freezing cold. We got in the car and I was able to stretch out a bit, but then had to "hold it" until we got to the house. The house was nice, although the stairs were really narrow, steep, curved and wooden...so you can imagine the fall I had the first night. Not pretty, and then my mom got all emotional, and I played sad to keep the attention a little longer (sshhh, don't tell). I enjoyed being with all the family at one time...most of the time I had first pick on all 5 laps. It was a pretty good situation to be in. I learned quick which one would give me food, it was usually Aunt Kelly or G'ma Glenda. I know beggars can't be choosers, and if you know me well you know I'm a beggar, but they bought this nasty French cheese that smelled awful and gave me mostly the casings. Just typing that gives me the shivers...gross! One night the whole family decided to play poker. I was quietly watching until they got a little tipsy. Then I jumped in and owned them. I'm telling you, sober ones always win at poker! They didn't know what hit them...I said "All in" and won, and they were still reeling that I could talk. Ha, ok, so I didn't talk...but I definitely owned them.

The best part of the trip, for me, was being able to sit by the fire and take naps. I'm not kidding, these houses in Europe have radiators that "heat the whole house up." Well, that's not true. They just heat up whatever is in a 6 inch radius. If I get that close to warm up, my mom freaks out and puts me on my pillow away from all things dangerous. So, having a nice wood fire near a comfy chair was paradise. They even gave me a greenie and didn't watch me eat it. It was amazing! This trip was awesome!!

Vacation should be a vacation for everyone, right?

Well, in true fashion, I was equipped with yet another rediculous outfit that everyone ooohed and awed at. Really? I'm a dog, let me be a dog! At my age, I mostly sit around and expend as little energy as possible. Watching all of these people running so much made me tired. I don't understand why you would do that to yourself. Why not just lay on a pillow in the sun?



Lisbon was ok, I guess. I expected a little more from my "people" and would have preferred a little more alone time...but it was nice (if you don't count me being stuck under a table at Hard Rock Cafe with a fleece over my head where I could barely breath so my family could eat). My mom took me everywhere in that bag my dad got her...it was nice to not have to walk so much, but staring at people's stomachs is not exactly "living the dream." They did give me the opportunity to try the Portuguese beer, though. I didn't feel like it, I figured someone had to be the sober one in this family.

I have to say listening to the goofs around me butcher Portuguese was quite entertaining, especially after said beers...Abriggado flows like wine at that point. I tried to appease my parents as much as possible on this trip, i.e. I didn't bark at all of the nonsense going on around me, I only chased pigeons when I was "going potty," and I didn't beg for food unless they put me in a chair at the table. What do you expect, I am a dog! I think as far as trips go this one was up there. It was warm, I didn't have any high expectations, and I had special treatment because Aunt Kelly and my grandparents hadn't seen me in a while. The only thing that stunk was the rediculous beds my parents and I slept in at the "cost-efficient" hotel. It was really crappy! Through some euro out there and get better beds next time...it isn't that difficult!

One upside is I've now ridden in planes, trains and automobiles...that's more than your dog can say!